I write for an Opening up to the God Self might be awakened in both myself and the reader.
I won’t hide my own Light
Because I am afraid of how others
Might react to my inherent Truths.
I shine my Light boldly in the hope that my heart
may touch another and a seed of Love be planted…
Ever since i can remember as a very small child i have seen Angels, and Spirit Guides.
When I was very small around 4 yrs old, I used to share a room with my older sister, and every night I would have to wake her up to take me to the toilet as I was too afraid to pass my bedroom door, as every night an old old man with a long white beard (he looked like Gandalf ) would be just sitting there on a huge old fallen tree log to the right of the door. Of course he was my Spirit Guide, but I didn’t understand it all then, and I was afraid of him. He wouldn’t ever move, I think he knew it would really scare me if he stood up, or moved, so he would always just sit there with his head down like he was waiting for something and watching over me, he would only move his eyes to look at me to the side, with no expression at all.
I would often end up sleeping at the end of my Mum and Dads bed, as I was too afraid to return to my bed if my sister ran back to bed and left me on the toilet! Mum would say under her sleepy breath, “what are you doing’? I would tell her “I can’t go back the old man is there again”! She would just say don’t be silly, and would quickly drift back off to sleep again.
I that magical bedroom I saw many things, in particular there was a beautiful Angel that would occasionally appear at the right hand corner of the bedroom, all white and sparkly. She was not so scary, but I thought everyone saw these spooky things, I thought it was normal, which of course now I know it is!
The bike accident – or was it…
By the age of seven and a half I was involved in a very serious car accident, in which I nearly died. I was up in the Blue Mountains, in Mount Wilson where my family had at the time a holiday house. I was riding my push bike to the shops with my sister Amanda and my cousin Lindy, they had all been into this only little shop on the mountain seeing old Amy Gunn the owner, always to get lollies and ice creams and say hello. As I am 14 months younger than my sister so at seven yrs old they were much faster than me, at that age they liked to tease me anyway, so they had already been into the shop and out again, they were waiting across the road for me on their bikes, so I came out, got on my pushbike and started to speed off in their direction on the dirt driveway. By this time they were waving and yelling at me, I thought they were just being nasty as I couldn’t hear them at all, but they were actually warning me there was a car coming on the road.
The car was speeding at 95 miles an hour and hit me side on to my pushbike, I went flying headfirst into their windshield busting it with my head, then bounced off airborne back onto the road. I was totally unconscious, knocked out for 3 days.
During this time maybe straight after the hit, I don’t really know the time span in our linear terms, but I experienced an extremely bright Light, and a strong feeling I was travelling somewhere. I wasn’t afraid at all. Very quickly I ended up at the foothills surrounded by beautiful green mountains, and trees and flowers of all colours everywhere, it was like paradise, so utterly gorgeous. Then I saw a large group of people, about ten of them all standing behind a beautiful garden bed, I seemed to know them, somewhere in my memories they were special friends and family, my family, ones who I had been with in between lives and maybe also on earth too. They were all waving me away, saying “its not your time yet”, that was difficult as I felt the strongest urge to be with them, and this felt like another rejection, like I had felt with my sister and Dad back on Earth.
It was right at this very second of feeling this rejection I was snapped back into my body, and for a split second I called out “Mummy”. and slipped straight back into unconsciousness. I was in my parents antique bed in their family home, my mother was sitting right next to me. It took me until I was about 18yrs old to remember this part, I would get flash backs constantly throughout my teenage years.
When I woke up in hospital after about 3 days, I was totally paralysed down my left side, I had a fractured scull 3 inches long on the right side of my scull, I couldn’t move, it must have been about midnight, when I woke and called out to the nurse that I wanted to turn over.
I was in a wheelchair for a few weeks in hospital and it took me at least a week to remember anyone at all, I remember looking at my parents and not knowing who they were, and that was frightening, as I didn’t know where I belong in this world!
I think back now and realise this was all meant to happen, it was an important part of my initiation back into the Spirit World…